Khwaja Ehsanullah Shah tells a story of a father and his son who was always angry. His father told his son, each time he is angry, he would have to go to the wooden fence at the back and hammer in one nail. The son then proceeded to do as his father told him to. Initially he had a lot of nails. Until one day, for about a few weeks, he didn’t put any nails. The father said, “Okay, for these many days you did not knock in any nails, right? No. Okay, good. Now I want you to take out one nail each time, on the days that you are able to control your anger.” This was a long process but eventually he took out all the nails. The father then told him, “ Look, even if you have taken out the nails, the holes are still there. Which means even if you able to control your anger, the damage you have done will always be permanent. Who is going to replace that hole now? Now you have to deal with the hearts of others that you have angered. A Muslim is saved from another Muslim’s words and actions. Now you have hurt that Muslim. How are you going to deal with that?” These are the effects of anger. That is why anger is the first one we need to uproot. Wrong anger; anger which appeases the ego.
Another story on the trait of anger was also shared. Rasulullah ﷺ was once approached by a companion and he says “Ya Rasulullah ﷺ, give me advice.“ and Rasulullah ﷺ says, “La taghdab (do not get angry)” The next three times he ﷺ was asked, he repeated “La taghdab”.
Ultimately, anger is the first ruinous trait to be uprooted. Anger that appeases the ego, not anger for the right reasons (e.g defending on Muslim from another). The uprising of anger comes because of ignorance and the detachment of the self from Allah ﷻ. So when the person is detached from Allah ﷻ when in the state of anger, then whatever they do, they are on their own. They are not going to receive help. Unless and until one has truly repented and seeks for that help. Khwaja Ehsanullah Shah shares a few dua to protect oneself from this wrong anger. However, he emphasises on doing so without the ego. The benefits of such amal would not be fully reaped, if one still recites such dua with their ego. Thus, he emphasises the importance of connection to one’s Shaykh;
“Anger is something that can only be overcome with consciousness. Taqwa. So what we must do? We must constantly be connected with our Murshid. Sit down. Do your tassawur.” “Focus, be vigilant. If the anger is rising, ask for help.”
Tying back to the previous weeks in which Khwaja Ehsanullah Shah adds how the heart has the capacity to be the Kaabatullah. When the heart is instead filled with anger, it becomes the palace of Iblis. Why? Because the blood becomes dirty, due to the absence of Zikir to cleanse the heart. Physically, spiritually, it becomes the palace of Iblis.
Thus, Khwaja Ehsanullah Shah emphasises the importance of going back to the way of our Prophet ﷺ. To follow the Sunnah of what to do when in a state of anger. To be sincere in asking for him ﷺ to pray for you. Through the connection to him ﷺ (through our Murshid and the Silsilah), with his ﷺ blessings and intercession, would Allah ﷻ then open up the ways for one to overcome their anger.
Reflection by Firzanah
Anger was once something I had difficulties differentiating from, due to my ego. An example would be that I would get angry if I saw someone being firm and not attempting to ‘understand’ my perspective. Many times I fell into this trap, thinking that I was right for my anger. For example, I would think that there should be a balance of perspectives, whereby I understood someone and the other ‘understood’ me too. Even that, was a trap of the ego.
Through Murshid’s guidance and this sharing Murshid gave, I was able to be more aware of my thoughts. Many times when I felt the anger rise within me, I would pause and ask myself if this anger was the right type of anger I should be having, or was it me simply me following the whims of my ego and nafs. Many times I found that it was my ego. I would then istighfar, push the thoughts contributing to this anger away, tasawwur and ask for madad through the blessings of Murshid and the Silsilah. With every attempt I did so, it got easier and easier for me to let go of the anger I had, and be filled with peace in my heart.
Recently I had an incident whereby I was working with a group of people. One of them was not contributing to the work and the others were very angry towards this individual. Alhamdulillah, through this experience I noticed that the constant practice I had earlier had helped tremendously. During this experience, I observed myself, and noticed I did not feel that old familiar feeling of anger bubbling within me. When I look back at it, I realized it was because this time I had turned to the connection to Murshid and Silsilah, ultimately to our Beloved Prophet ﷺ, and believed that truly all will be settled. With this connection, alhamdulillah wa syukrulillah, the anger others felt did not reside within me, all the burdens related to this group were lifted and all affairs were eased.
I noticed that through the practice I mentioned earlier, that more openings were granted and more peace filled my life. There may be times I feel anger rising within me, but it has become much easier for it to fade away and be removed from my heart. Truly, this made me better understand the importance of being connected to your Murshid. Ultimately such ruinous traits (like anger) arise due to the 4 enemies Murshid mentions often, but mostly due to our ego. When these ruinous traits attempt to take hold of us, truly the madad and connection to our Shaykh is what keeps us away from thinking and feeling with the ego.